We all have people in our past who have impacted us in one way or another. It's easy to think fondly of those who have had a positive influence in our life, but not so easy for those who have caused us pain.
The memories of those hurtful moments hang over us like a storm cloud, following us everywhere and are never far from our thoughts. And even when we're not thinking about those moments, negative stories are circling around in our subconscious causing us undue stress.
And stress affects our metabolism, our hormones, our sleep, and yes, our overall health.
It's time, my friend, to start forgiving those from your past. I'm not saying you should forget...but I do know that you no longer have room in your life to carry these feelings around with you.
I bet you're asking how, right? I've got to be honest...it took me a long time to let go of emotions associated with my past. And what was even harder to swallow was that I had made the past all about me. Yes, the person had done things that made me question my self-worth but I also never thought to look at the situation from his perspective.
My story is not much different from a lot of other children out there. My parents divorced when I was young, and my dad started a new life. I was no longer a priority and as a result, I felt abandoned and sad. I carried this mentality all through my 20s, 30s and 40s. What a lot of baggage for someone to carry around!
When I started working with my own coaches, they helped me to see the past from my dad's perspective. His mom had put him in foster homes when she couldn't take care of him due to her alcoholism. I can only imagine how that made him feel...how scared he must have felt being moved from home to home. Wondering what he had done to cause his own mother to give him up.
So what my grandmother had done to my dad is what he did to me, but on a level that was so much worse. The trauma he endured is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I pray that my father will someday realize that he is good enough. He did the best that he could with me and in his mind, he probably does not understand why I felt the way I did. And that's okay.
I can either choose to believe that he loves me unconditionally and have compassion for what he went through, or I can choose to blame him for my past. I don't know about you, but to me, letting go of the sadness and loving him for who he is will bring me more peace and happiness in my life. It's not my job to take on his trauma or pain, but it is my job to understand what he went through.
And with this fact comes the power of knowing that I am stopping the pattern in my lineage. I can take this amazing breakthrough and share it with others so they can find that same internal peace.
How will you choose to move forward in your life? Will you continue to hang on to the pain that is adding zero value to you or those around you? Or will you release the anger and sadness and focus on loving the person who did the best he could at the time?
When you are ready to move forward, reach out to me. Because as long as I'm here, you are never alone.
All my best,
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